Last week was tough.  I tweeted about it, I wrote on Facebook about it.  I got lazy with my workout rotation and baked cookies, eating about a half-dozen a day until they were gone.  Sure, my husband helped me a little bit, but oatmeal cookies in any form are not his favorite, so admittedly, I ate most of them.  To make matter worse, I decided that I should bake something for him over this holiday weekend, so I made him some basic yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting.  Nothing fancy.  Did I leave them all for him?  Hell, no! I’ve eaten those too!

Here’s my confession. This past week of laziness and baked goods put me into two days of either skipping a meal or just eating sweets as a meal.  OMG! I haven’t done that in many, many years! I NEVER skip a meal anymore!  I am a junk food junkie.  There – I said it.  It’s true.  I used to have horrible eating habits. It was faster to just grab a piece of that cake or pie for dinner, go through a drive-thru for lunch, whatever.   Without a conscious effort, I am realizing that I could easily fall back into those old eating habits.

People think I’m such a great role model! I eat well, work out all the time, think and live healthy.  Well, I have to work at it really hard!  I’m sure most everyone who follows a fit and healthy lifestyle have to work at it. At least, I hope so! I don’t want to be the only one who struggles with it at times and really has to fight not to fall into the pit of nutritional Hell every now and then.

It has been so long since I’ve eaten junk as a meal.   It really brought back the memories of the days when I never cooked and just threw loads of carbs together if I ate at home. I never bought or ate veggies or fruit, even as much as I love fruit.  So many nights, I would come home and just eat chips and salsa for dinner! Oh my! I had almost forgotten about that!

These last two days have really brought all of it back to the front of my mind like it was just yesterday!

I am spilling my guts here today to reaffirm that I refuse to become that person again!  I am committed to continuing to eat healthy and stay fit.  I fell off the wagon this week, but it will NOT beat me!  As soon as I finish this post, I am going to sit down with all my Vegetarian Times and Clean Eating magazines and my cookbooks and start planning out 2 weeks worth of meals.  I’ve been talking about doing this (to myself that is) for a few weeks.  It’s hard for me.  I’m not an intuitive cook.  I can’t just walk into the kitchen look in the fridge and grab some stuff and go, “Voila!” a tasty, healthy, wonderful meal is done! Uh-uh.  I must have recipes.  I’m also not very structured with planning.  I struggle with deciding what to make on any particular day, for which meal of the day and breakfast is difficult because I’m so picky and don’t like cheese and lots of other things that usually show up in breakfast recipes! Bleh!  So, I struggle.  All this besides the fact that I’m one of those who has to be “in the mood” for a particular thing that day.

Sigh. That’s it. My confession.  My admission. I feel better. No more putting it off, though, it’s off to work on meal plans! Wish me luck!